May 24, 2006

The Doug Mientkiewicz Fan Club

Last night, a dozen drunk kids decided to come out to Kauffman Stadium to lend support to lackluster first basemen Doug Mientkiewicz:

They probably did not choose Dougie based on his baseball skills. He's hitting .250 with a .338 OBP and a .331 SLG%. Brought in primarily for defense (because that's all you want at first base... forget any power or hitting ability), Dougie has helped the Royals win 10 out of their first 43 games. Yep, that glove sure has turned the ballclub around. They are now on pace to break the loss record by the 1962 Mets.

But back to the Doug Mientkiewicz Fan Club. These idiots chose him because he has twelve letters in his name. That's it.

But maybe, just maybe, Dougie would look at these goobers and be inspired to play the greatest game of his life and end the Royals' losing streak at 10.

Let's go to the highlights:

Not a good start. In the first, Dougie's ball dropped. Er, I mean, he dropped a ball. At least he managed to avoid looking like an idiot.

While batting in the second, America's Troubador Kenny Rogers drilled Dougie in the ass with a fastball. At least he managed to avoid looking like an idiot.

While running to second, Dougie fell hard on his ass as he tried to slide. At least he managed to... well, he looked pretty foolish by this point in the game.

Dougie's final line: 0-3, 1 K, 1 HBP.

So why didn't these kids start the Mark Grudzielanek Fan Club instead? His last name has twelve letters too. And he's actually good. Marky's line last night: 3-4, 2 HR, 2 RBI, 3 Runs.

Idiot kids.

It's okay.

It could have been worse.

Remember when the Esteban German Fan Club attended a game?

Good times, good times.

Go Royals! You're the best!


  1. I admit that I'm not a Royals fan, or a Mientkiewicz fan, but I was in college at FSU when Mientkiewicz played there. The real serious FSU baseball fans had a cheer for him based on the old Budweiser "Yes I am" commercials.

    And, my roommate loved him. She started her own, uh, fan club.

  2. Anonymous9:08 PM

    I am part of that group. We are from Outback Steakhouse and just having a good time

  3. Anonymous11:25 PM

    Were the idiots that decided to support him just because of the number of letters in his name? How do you make an assumption like that and then call us idiots? You want to make comments on how poor of a player he is, yet you're a huge fan of the Royals, obviously a top of the standings team? I suppose you chose to be a fan of the Royals because you enjoy talking about nothing but Dougie's ass and attempting to make a lame joke about his "ball's dropping" during the game.
    So how about next time before you go posting your poser article on a few people trying to have fun, you put a little thought behind what your writing instead of trying to pull it out of your ass? But I guess it's hard to steer away from that, living the lifestyle you do.

  4. I mean, they could have chosen Grudzielanek instead - he has twelve letters in his name too.

    That was hilarious. 'anonymous' isn't familiar with the uses of apostrophes (i.e., "were the idiots" for "we're the idiots").

    The pic and an excerpt have been inserted into my own blog at Keep on rootin'.

    Fans in the Boston area will certainly never forget the name Mientkiewicz, even if they can't spell it :-)


  5. Thanks, Anonymous.

    Your criticism has been duly noted.

    Now if you don't mind, I need to write another "poser" article for the Royals fans who actually have a sense of humor.

    Rooting for Doug Mientkiewicz, I assumed you did.

    I guess I was wrong.

    Love always,


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...