May 2, 2006

A New Film From M. Night Shamalamadingdong

Have your heard about the new Mike Sweeney movie? Apparently, he's got something lined up with that guy who makes those crappy movies with the stupid "twist" endings.

COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU.

IT ALL STARTS WHEN ROYALS DH MIKE SWEENEY RECEIVES AN UNUSUAL NOTE IN HIS LOCKER.



WHEN MIKE CALCULATES THE SICK DAYS FROM JUST THE PREVIOUS YEAR, HE REALIZES THE ANSWER IS SOMEWHERE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF 360 DAYS.

HE REALIZES THE HARSH REALITY:



THAT'S RIGHT.

ROYALS DH MICHAEL "JESUS LOVES ME, THIS I KNOW" SWEENEY IS...



 
(Very very breakable.)

With a cameo by Royals owner and former Wal-Mart CEO, David Glass:



The shocking twist of this tale?

Well, uh, there isn't really anything shocking about it.

But M. Night has something up his sleeve.

That's right.

The aliens can be destroyed by water.

Which makes sense, because they were attacking a planet made up of 75% water.

Whatever.

Now what was I talking about?

Eh, screw it.

GO ROYALS! YOU'RE THE BEST!


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