July 3, 2006

Him? Really?

Query:


 
How high was Ozzie Guillen when he chose Mark Freaking Redman as the Royals representative in the 2006 All Star Game?

I'm not saying I give a damn.

Cuz I don't.

With so many Yankees and Red Sox in the All Star Game every year, it has really become a non-event for fans in three of the four Continuous U.S. Time Zones.

But that doesn't mean I'm not a might bit confused by Marky Mark's inclusion in this year's event.

He will not play.

That's fine.

Maybe he'll get West Nile hanging out in the Pittsburgh bullpen all night with the skeeters coming off the river.

Good.

I hope so.

But really.

Redman should not be receiving any honor.

Let alone this honor.

Not with DeJesus playing the part of a future Johnny Damon (better arm, less speed) over the past several weeks. (I know, there were tons of AL OF's that were worthy this year, but the Royals only get one guy. At least Damien didn't get in.)

Not with Grudzielanek being one of the few second basemen in the AL worth a damn this year. (Cano? Loretta? Are you kidding me? With that Lopez kid tearing it up? Why are Red Sox and Yanks fans even allowed to vote?)

Not with Emil Brown and his... well, I know he can't play D. But you already picked like five DH's to play first on this year's squad. **Cough** Starting Fat Toad David Ortiz **Cough**?

Not with Jimmy Gobble... yes, that Jimmy Gobble... pitching in 31 games with a mid 3 ERA. (Not great, I know, but more impressive than anything Redman has done all year.)

Not with Brandon Duckworth and his capacity for slightly resembling Gary Busey.

Not with, well, we didn't really have anyone else deserving or even close to deserving on the team.

But why not one of those above guys?

Why Redman?

He is not an all-star.

A pitcher with a 5.59 ERA is not an All-Star.

HITTERS ARE BATTING NEARLY .300 OFF OF HIM!!!

I understand that Ozzie is busy with "F*cking F*g" Gate, but he could have, I dunno, actually checked some stats before he made his final selections.

You've got another pitcher, Francisco Liriano, with a sub-2.00 ERA kicking names and taking ass in the same division, and you take Mark Redman's lucked into five wins?

Guillen... I wish you were muerto.

I'd rather go without an All-Star than have Redman.

I really would.

Though, it's not like I was gonna watch the game anyway.

But you can't even expect me to channel surf on over with Redman scratching his balls in the bullpen.

Sigh.

The All-Star game is becoming the Pro-Bowl faster than Jason Whitlock is gaining rolls.

And that's impressive.

Go Royals! You're the Best!

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