Bringing new meaning to the phrase "Pitcher-Catcher Battery"

So the Royals found a way to get on ESPN tonight.

All it took was Fat Elvys and John Buck wildly throwing punches at one another in the dugout between innings.

Sadly, neither guy ever connected.

But it made me wonder, who would win in a real fight between these two?

Obviously, Elvys is in a much higher weight class. But then again, Buck probably has more stamina and agility.

We would probably have to resort to some kind of super-computer to determine the winner.

Luckily, I own a Nintendo.


Obviously, Little Buck wins, punching Elvys repeatedly in his gut while the obese pitcher tries in vain to keep his boxing shorts on.

And there you have it.

Please join us next time when we pit Angel Berroa against a 747 full of poisonous snakes. Or perhaps we'll see Emil Brown take on a word processing program.

Either way, there should be lots of blood.

Go Royals! You're the Best!

Kicking Names and Taking Ass

How hard is it to update this site when the Royals are playing well?

Check out all of the posts from the last two weeks to see the answer.

KC has been on a tear lately, sticking it to the Twins, the White Sox and the Red Sox.

And I gotta say, I laughed about that.

I laughed a lot.

I'm sure every Royals fan did.

Rendering this blog completely worthless during that time.

You can only rip on Emil's poor diction or Runelvys' love of deep fat fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches so many times. Especially when they are playing pretty well.

So get ready for the future.

Well, at least for the next several months.

Royales with Cheese will become a hybrid.

You know, like a Prius.

Introducing:


Sure, why not?

Looks to be lots of laughs coming from their 2006 season.

Just think...

The chuckles we'll get out of the inept O-line!

The giggles we'll get out of Herm Edwards' post game conferences!

The chortles we'll get out of KC Wolf's Zubaz pants!

The guffaws, my god, the uncontrollable belly laughs we'll get out of Damon freaking Huard!

Come on!

Who's with me?

...

Nobody?

Really?

Not one person?

Good.

I didn't really feel like doing that anyway.

Go Royals! You're the Best!

The Post Wherein I Further Make Light of Emil Brown's Flair for Unintelligible Writing

The past several weeks the Royals have experienced milestones. Not on the baseball field, but in their private lives. I'm talking birthdays, anniversaries, and other pointless celebrations of the passing of time.

Why should you care?

Well, Royales with Cheese has rooted through the clubhouse trashcan and found several discarded greeting cards penned by your favorite movie reviewer and mine, Emil Brown.

That's right, presenting the first part in a 27 part series:

Here are those cards.

(1)

This past Saturday, August 26. Runelvys Hernandez's fifth wedding anniversary:


(2)

Sunday, August 27th: Buddy Bell's 55th birthday.



(3)

Today, August 29: Ryan Shealy's birthday.


(4)

Also today, August 29: News of Reggie Sanders' season ending surgery.




Honestly, I think Emil's getting better at the whole writing thing.

TREMENDOUS STRIDES.

Go Royals! You're the Best!