April 4, 2009

What a clever name for a Royals blog!

[Ed's Note (May 2012): We are now actually at royaleswithcheese.com. When this post was written in 2009, someone had swooped in and bough the web address and taken our name for their Royals website. It was a big deal to me then, but it isn't now. They decided to change their name and we've all moved on. Everything's cool between us. Cool story, bro.]

So www.royaleswithcheese.com...

That's not me.

For one thing, it offers insightful commentary and frequent updates.

Which is great, I guess, if every other Royals blog didn't already do that.

I do want to point out that it offers little in the way of Emil Brown jokes, poorly photoshopped images, references to Match Game '74 and, this is the most important, it offers absolutely nothing in the way of ridiculous drunken rants.

Speaking of which....

Go ahead, take the name. Register the site. Whatever. I borrowed the phrase from Tarantino who got it from the French McDonald's. I don't own the phrase or, clearly, the domain. If I could have afforded the five dollars a year, I would have bought it, believe me.

What I offer with this shitty blog is the amateur's perspective. The idiot's commentary. The dumbass observations you didn't know you wanted until you saw them turned into a picture of Hideo Nomo's head on a pregnant teenage girl's body. To me, that fits the sensibility of the blog's title pretty damn well. What I'm seeing on that site does not, and it makes me question why they chose that name.

So what if the makers behind that site asked for my permission and blessing to use the name back in January?

So what if I replied, "No, my site isn't dead. It's an April Fool's prank. Please don't use that name."

So what if they came back and said, whoops!!!, they'd already bought the site months ago and, double whoops!!!, it was already designed and, triple whoops!!!, it would be online and functioning in a matter of days?

"But we tried to contact you in the past and you never answered!" Like hell they did. Not asking if they could use the name they didn't.

So what if they then offered me a token position as a staffer with their GLORIOUS NEW PROFESSIONALLY DESIGNED (read as: a WordPress Template that anyone could find online for free) site?

"What better way to come back than using our site and our adspace? You owe it to your fans to come back with a professional site." I disagree. If anything, I owe it to my readers to be anything but professional. This is a personal blog. This is not staffed. There are no obligations. I write the blog because I enjoy it.

So what if I e-mailed back and said, thanks but no thanks, dude, I'm independent.... I don't join no consortium unless it's the Brotherhood of Bloggers with Big Dicks.

So what if they came back and said they understood and agreed to put a prominent disclaimer on their site pointing out that their blog was not affiliated with my blog and that I in no way condoned their use of the name, and that they would post a link to my blog in said disclaimer?

So what if they said they'd be honored to do that, and then ignored that agreement entirely? So what if I didn't even make it on their damn blogroll?

So what?

It's just another Royals blog that seems to specialize in summarizing Royals press releases, saying things that you, the genuine obsessed Royals fan, probably already know. There are a lot of great Royals blogs out there (check the links to the right), but I don't really see what this one adds, other than an attempt to capitalize on the name of this blog.

I've got nothing against the guy who writes that blog (he seems to know his shit, even if he hasn't quite found his voice yet), but the assholes who approached me about the site and lied multiple times about the circumstances surrounding buying, creating, and staffing it, are definitely only it in for their lameass sportsblog network and any ad revenue said lameass sportsblog network can generate.

Here's my last complaint, just because I really don't get it: their logo is a picture of George Brett's head on the body of a heroin-addicted hitman. Personally, I've got no problems mocking Brett's hemorrhoids, but why make your logo Mr. Royal and Sam Jackson capping a bitch?


Alright... that's the last I'll speak of that site.

I'm sure in three weeks it will be the most popular Royals blog on the net, and I'll be over here posting images of Sidney Ponson's head on the world's fattest man's naked body for the seven readers who are too lazy to delete me from their Google Reader.

Such is life.

Go Phony Royales With Cheese! You're the Best!


  1. Welcome back missed the site.
    Not sure why, haha

    The rip off RWC sucks you should sue.

  2. All I can say is, this is cockshit. Pure, unadulterated cockshit. I bet on the fake RWC I can't even say the word "cockshit."

    You wanna know what else is cockshit? The Royals have 3 catchers right now.

    Dick Kaegel's explanation..."Buck could be used as a late-inning pinch-hitter or even start a game as designated hitter."


  3. Anonymous8:50 AM

    The other site is gone. Wha happened?

  4. For the record, I strongly suggested to them, when they announced their plans, that they not do it. My suggestion was ignored. I then, when they launched, demanded that they change.

    They said they would, and had been led to believe that your site was no longer functioning.

    Just sayin'...

    Anyway, what was the deal with the requests/complaints from the Royals that you stop doing whatever it is you were doing?

    I imagine the answer to this can be found in your archives, but I'm very lazy.

    Nevertheless, glad to see you back at it. Always loved the site.


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