May 13, 2009

We're going streaking!




Hey, gang! Long time no post, huh?

Well, to be fair, there wasn't a whole lot of negativity to share. After a solid April, May has been a tale of two streaks.

Beginning May 2, the Royals went on a nice run. They were winning games that they should have and games that they should not have won. The pitching was fantastic. The hitting was timely. Billy Butler learned how to play first. Ponson made the most of his final start. They were getting more national coverage than they've received in over a decade. Suddenly, the Royals were 6-1 in May and stood at 18-11 overall. They were at the top of the Central and close to the top of the league.

Then they went to California, home of wildfires, earthquakes, retarded beauty queens, a thriving pornography industry, the worst schools in the country, Manny injecting Manny, and a $21.3 billion budget deficit. All that, and the star of Commando running the show.




(It's not all bad of course. In-n-Out Burger, wine country, giant Redwoods, a thriving pornography industry...)

But I digress. California is where things started going wrong. Zack Greinke threw a one-run complete game but was somehow outpitched. Miguel Olivo, Jamey Wright, and Jose Guillen combined to give a game away in less than three minutes. Luke Hochevar shat the bed against the worst offensive team in the league. It's four straight losses now, and a little negativity is creeping back.

The Royals have some problems. Not as many as in years past, of course, and this doesn't seem like the beginning of one of those famous Royals fourteen-game losing streaks, but now that we're over thirty games into the season, there are three players to be concerned about:

1) Joakim Soria. It hasn't really hurt the team so far, but the higher-ups were pretty cagey about putting the kid on the DL, with statements coming out that there was nothing wrong with him at all. Now they are saying a partial tear. He doesn't need any surgery, apparently. Let's just hope this isn't one of those lingering things.

2) Mike Aviles needs demoted. He doesn't look comfortable in the box this year. Let him figure it out in Omaha.

3) David DeJesus needs, well, not demoted, but kicked in the ass at least. He's killing rallies left and right in the two hole.

Really, that's a pretty short list of concerns for six weeks into the season. I'm confident they'll snap out of it soon. With a sellout coming up this Friday at the K, the future of the team is looking good. 

The biggest problem right now is probably California.

Let's just get them the hell out of there.

Go Royals! You're the Best!


April 20, 2009

A Boost to Wikipedia's Credibility


God bless the anonymous editors of Wikipedia.


Check out Trey Hillman's page:



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Heh. Either that's one pissed off Royals fan, or Buddy Bell has learned how to use the Internet.

Enhance:

Urge to Kill.... Rising

If you didn't read my post from last Wednesday about Farnsworth, or even if you did, it's worth reading again. Just make sure to add a loss (he's 0-3 now; that was his second loss of the week), change his ERA to 18.90 (Jesus Tits), and raise my anger level from "Full Of Hate-Filled Rage" to "Shitting Fury Out Of My Ass." In short, Farnsworth blows. That's been established. We know that.

What's really disheartening? Trey Hillman blows, too. He doesn't know how to utilize a bullpen. And that may be the Royals downfall this year. This is clearly one of, if not the best, teams that has been fielded by KC in over a decade. They can compete for the division this year, but sadly, I think it really depends on Hillman. Of the Royals five losses, at least two, and arguably three, can be blamed on bullpen decisions Mr. Goatee has made.

So why didn't Hillman put in Soria to give us a better chance of completing the sweep? The same Soria that hadn't pitched since last Monday? The same Soria that Hillman was saying needed to get some work on Sunday regardless of the situation? The same Soria that Hillman calls "Jack" Soria for some reason?

Trey's response to that question after the game: "You don't do that on the road.... the percentages are against it."

Oh Fearless Leader, the percentages are against putting one of the best pitchers in the league into a game to preserve a tie and give your team a chance at the win in extra innings? The percentages are against that?

Well you know what, dipshit? If you really were using percentages, you wouldn't let Farnsworth pitch at all. Not if the Royals still have a chance to win a game. Never against right-handed hitters. Never in the goddamn state of Texas.

The percentages are ALWAYS AGAINST KYLE FARNSWORTH.

THEY ARE RARELY, IF EVER, AGAINST "JACK" SORIA.

I CAN'T STOP YELLING.

I WISH THIS WERE A FUNNIER POST.

BUT IT'S NOT.

HILLMAN AND FARNSWORTH MIGHT DESTROY THE DREAMS OF EVERY ROYALS FAN IN THE WORLD.

SHIT!

GO ROYALS! YOU'RE THE BEST!

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