April 4, 2010

Are You Afraid of the Snark?

Submitted for the approval of The Midnight Society, I call this "The Tale of the Bullshit Blogger."

As the seasons wear on and the blogosphere booms and busts, booms and busts, the shocking number of people wasting their lives writing about the Kansas City Royals just continues to grow. And as this group grows, I find myself with less and less to say that isn't already being said. Never has a team as poor as the Royals been given so much attention. Sure, they aren't on television, really. Or the radio. Or even in the newspaper. But all those mediums are dying. Who cares if they aren't in the paper? The paper sucks, anyway. Where the Royals are ubiquitous, though, is the blog.

You've got guys liveblogging games. You've got guys getting into heated arguments over insignificant players like Brian Anderson and Edgar Osuna. You've got guys adopting my schtick, but with more cursing and less affection. Hell, even the Royals themselves have a blog.

What's left for me? Where do I fit in? Why am I bothering coming back for another season of middling, infrequent posting about this organization?

I don't know. I honestly don't know.

The team isn't going to be much fun this season. Even in the worst years, I've always had a befuddling amount of optimism. Not this time, though. The team looks terrible this year. Maybe worse than last year. Probably worse than last year. Definitely worse than last year.

But I'll keep this blog alive. I'll keep posting. I'll throw some magic dust on the fire and spin tales of madness, depravity, and morality aimed at eight to twelve year old kids with nothing better to do on Saturday nights. And maybe I'll recruit some young upstarts, some Ren and Stimpys and Alex Macks and Pete and Petes, to help me out around here.

If nothing else, I can promise you this: The blog will be wildly inconsistent.

Referencing SNICK in my first post of the year for no apparent reason should be proof of that.

Go Royals! 162-0! You're the Best!


  1. When Trey Hillman had Scott Podsednik perform a sacrifice bunt in the first inning, he should have been fired immediately.

    Hillman's managing style is analogous to a professional blackjack player who likes to hit on twenty.

    There is never any statistical reason to support his moves, and rarely any practical one. This man has no business in baseball.

    Thank you for your time.

  2. DiggityDawg1:28 PM

    You kinda answered your question with your post...

    This team sucks. People like you & I are stuck following, & ( yes, damnit ) loving it.

    It's because of that that we need stuff like this blog. If we can't at least find some funny in all this, we're screwed.

  3. What ever happened to Kel from Keenan & Kel?

  4. Anonymous9:41 PM

    Royales with Cheese and the Royals snarky blogosphere is the only thing keeping me a fan. Don't stop!


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