June 10, 2010

Starawful

The Royals have been making a ridiculous push to get Billy Butler in the All-Star Game. They gave discounts at their team store for people that voted 100 times for Butler. They created "Vote For Billy" T-Shirts that weirdly feature a penis shooting through the "o" in "Vote." No, I don't have an image to back that claim up, but trust me, there's a dick on that shirt. Billy even came out to the media last week and said it was frustrating that playing in KC was keeping him from getting an All-Star appearance.


I don't blame the Royals for promoting one of their best players or for trying to make some money with their dick shirts.

Alright, you got me, I'll go ahead and post the shirt. I mean, for copyright reasons, I can't post the actual shirt. But this is pretty accurate.

Cover your eyes if you're sensitive.


Anyway, I don't blame the Royals for attempting to market somebody other than Greinke for once this year.

As for Billy's complaints about not getting any votes, I think it's a little ridiculous. He's been better than front-runner Mark Texiera this year, but he's not the best first baseman in the AL. He's not even the best first baseman in the AL Central. He's a really good player, but I understand why he won't be an All-Star this year. I can see him having a legitimate shot next year, but not now.

What's really funny is that the MLB site has campaign pages for all the players on the ballot, no matter how shitty, injured, or in the case of Ken Griffey, Jr., retired they are.

This means hilarious pictures like the following:








Wait a second... that last one is South Carolina's surprise Democratic-Senate-Primary-winner-and-soon-to-be-convicted-on-felony-porn-charges Alvin C. Greene!

And he's eligible at first base?

That seals it.

Billy Butler really has no chance this year.

Go Royals! 126-36! You're the Best!

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