May 10, 2012

Natural Resources

Forget about the Royals for a moment. I know they've done okay as of late.  A split with the Yankees and two of three from the Red Sox sure sounds good.  

But forget it. As Vin Mazzaro would say, "Fuhgettaboutit."

Get it?

Ryan Lefebvre sure does!

As Ryan would say, "That's a spicy uh-meatball-uh!"

Anyway.

There is something more important going on down in the minors.

Let's take a little trip down Arkansas way, shall we?

I'm not talking about the Shiloh Museum of Ozark History, though the permanent exhibit entitled "Poultry in Motion" sure gives me a pun boner.

No, I'm talking about baseball history.

BASEBALL-FLIPPING-HISTORY.
 
The Northwest Arkansas Naturals A/K/A the NWARKNats A/K/A the Springdale Thunder Chickens A/K/A Poultry in Motion A/K/A.... uh, Omaha South (?) no-hit the Springfield Cardinals.

NO-FLIPPING-HIT THE CARDS.

It's even more impressive when you realize it wasn't just one dude dealing.

No.  It took no less four Naturals pitchers to stymie Springfield.

But that did it.

And for that, we should be proud.

The Lincoln-bearded Greg Holland struck out the side in the first, then got pulled in the second in a rehab shart.  Chris Dwyer went six and two-thirds, walking two and beaning one.  Brendan Lafferty and Kendal Volz combined for the last two perfect innings.

It was amazing.

To do that kind of shit, you got to be like Marlon Brando. You got to be Naturalistic. You got to be Naturalistic as hell.


The above photo is not from tonight's game.  Rather, it is a dramatization from the hit Animal Planet television series Finding Bigfoot.  Now, I know that it looks like a Squatch wearing bike shorts is about to molest a child, but it's actually James "Bobo" Fay playing the part of Strike, the Naturals mascot, and actress Elle Fanning in a fat suit playing the part of the fleeing child.

RECREATED-BASEBALL-FLIPPING-HISTORY.

 While I know the Royals' recent stretch of not shitting themselves at home has been a pleasant surprise, it's merely prelude to what can, NAY, what shall be.  These minor league triumphs over other minor league failures will soon be occurring at the major league level.

  And as long as Ned Yost is the manager, the above scenario is well worth embracing.  After all, four pitchers combining for a no-hitter is a Ned Yost wet/fever/wet-fever dream.

Especially if James "Bobo" Fay and a Squatch costume are involved.

Go Naturals!  You're the Best!

1 comment:

  1. I can't wait to listen to Ryan's awesome Italian accent this weekend!

    ReplyDelete

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