May 13, 2012

A Salute To Mom

Hello, sports fans! It’s Mother’s Day, and I’d like to celebrate by dedicating a post to my mother.

I have her to thank (or blame) for my Kan City Royals fanaticism, and I would like to share some of my favorite things about her.

No matter what the Royals slogan is for a particular season (You Gotta Love These Guys, This…Is Hardball, Our Time), Mom always thinks it’s “A Major League Attraction.” This slogan was last used in 1988.

When the Royals introduced their new grey on-field road caps in the mid-nineties, Mom drove me to every department store in a 20-mile radius to ensure I got one for my birthday.

She did not question me when one summer I decided I wanted to be a Seattle Mariners fan.

On the rare occasion she visits Kauffman stadium, she insists on starting a chant for “A-O.” That is, Amos Otis.

She once stood in line at a Bannister Mall jewelry store for two hours with my brother and I so that we could meet Frank White.  

As a teen, arriving home after a Royals game was always a predictable occasion. Mom always asked the same two questions as soon as I opened the door. 1) Did the Royals win? 2) Did you get on the Megatron?*
Of course, in almost every case, the answer to both questions was no.

Since leaving for college, and to this day, Mom’s care packages have always contained whatever Royals item was 75% off in the Hy-Vee general merchandise aisle that week. Will it be a t-shirt? A keychain? A Joe Randa framed card plaque? You just didn’t know.

So this one goes out to you, Mom, and all the Mothers out there.

Happy Mother’s Day!

(this is not my Mom)

Go Moms! You’re the Best! 

* What she obviously means by Megatron is Jumbotron, but there’s more to it than that. You see, Mom suffers from what the doctors call Tronambiguation. To her, the stadium video board is the Megatron. The defunct Worlds of Fun ride is the Jumbotron. The Detroit Lions wide receiver is Omegatron and the Transformers character is Calvin Johnson. There is no telling a tronambiguate otherwise.

1 comment:

  1. I'm just burning doing the Electron Dance!


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