May 3, 2012

Toss Your Cookies

On April 30, 2002, Tony Muser was fired as manager of the Kansas City Royals.  However, the groundwork for his release was laid almost a year earlier, on May 3, 2001.

You see, that was the one and only day in Muser's four-plus years as Royals manager that he showed any sort of personality.  After losing a third straight game at home to Cleveland, which also dropped KC to 10-18 overall, Muser went off script in the post-game press conference.

"Chewing cookies, drinking milk, and praying isn't going to get it done," he said. "It's going to take a lot of hard work and some mindset." 

He continued, "I'd like them to go out and pound tequila rather than have cookies and milk." 

 The comment started a shit-storm in Kansas City.  The remark was considered by many to be an attack on some of the more religious players on the roster, specifically Mike Sweeney and Smilin' Joe Randa.  The Royals front office fielded numerous angry calls, as did the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, I guess because they are across the street from Kauffman Stadium.

The next day, Muser retracted his comments, saying, "I probably should have used cod-liver oil instead of tequila... I apologize as a man."  He also made a joke about how he himself prays every night in the ninth inning when Roberto Hernandez is trying to close out a win.  That comment, oddly, did not result in any backlash.

Milk-And-Cookie-Gate remained a pretty big story for about a week. In fact, Tony Muser's disembodied head got a Jose Cuervo endorsement deal out of the kerfuffle, and Mike Sweeney proselytized to kids alongside Cookie Monster in an American Dairy Farmers ad. It turned out to be a win-win.

And things pretty much went back to normal after that.  That is to say, the Royals continued losing, and after awhile, pretty much everyone forgot about Muser's comments and resumed ignoring the team.

Of course, we at Royales with Cheese cannot let an anniversary like this go by without some shitty photoshopping (see above!) and another peek into Poor Pichardo's Almanack (see below!).

Let's do this.

Go Tequila!  You're the Best!

1 comment:

  1. Randy5:44 PM

    Update: Tony Muser still has no sideburns.


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