STAN'S SOAPBOX! Before we have too much fun with the funny photoshoppin', Yours Truly has something he'd like to get off his chest! Now, gang, we all know racism and bigotry is wrong! But you may have a friend or brother or sister or mom or pop who says racist and bigoted things! And that's just not right, true believers! The next time you hear a discriminatory diatribe from someone, you need to stand up and say, "Hey, I don't dig that! Real heroes are intolerant of intolerance!" We can make a wondrous world if we all try a little tenacity! Tell 'em your Uncle Stan says so!
LET'S GO, GANG! Back to the boisterous 'blog! Now, remember, we won't be using any of the movie Avengers for this blog. Cap, Thor, Hulk, and Iron Man are just too royal for the Royals. But fear not, true believers, there are one hundred other Avengers to choose from! There are even several subgroups, all of them amazing! We have the New Avengers, the Secret Avengers, the Dark Avengers, Avengers Academy, Avengers Next, Young Avengers, West Coast Avengers, and, of course, the Great Lakes Avengers! 'nuff said!
REMEMBER KIDS! Four A's are better than one! And don't forget, respect everyone (except maybe Loki, the Skrulls, Thanos, and St. Louis Cardinals fans!), just like your ol' pals the AAAAvengers!
ITEM: The astonishing android Machine Man has excellent endurance and stupefying stamina! His arms and legs are telescopic, attacking his enemies at all angles! What better Royal to morph into Machine Man than the indestructible and against-all-odds Bruce Chen! Stan Least gives you: The Ma-Chen Man!
ITEM: The jumbo Juggernaut is one of the most violent and vengeful villians in all of comicdom! But did you know his son J2 is a massively muscled masked member of Avengers Next? No other Royal quite stacks up to the sheer super-colossal size of J2 like Royals closer Jonathan Broxton! That's right, he's the Broxxtonaut, bitch!
ITEM: Danny Duffy has proven to be a talented, upstanding young man! But he faces a great challenge over the next year: Tommy John! How will our brave boy handle this fiendish foe? With no fear! That's right, the Avengers have a handicapable hero of their own, the man in the dark: Daredevil! He's blind as a baseball umpire, but he doesn't let that get him down! He fights, just as Danny will fight, as Dareduffy, the man without fear!
ITEM: Last but not least, we have one of Marveldom's most brilliant bruisers! Ben Grimm, the ever-lovin' blue-eyed Thing, is nearly identical in size, strength, density, durability, body odor, and intellect as the most revered Royal, the ever-lovin' blue-eyed Billy Butler! It's Clobberin' Time!
THAT'S A WRAP, ROYALS FANS! Remember to keep reading this bombastic 'blog and rooting for your raucous Royals! Yours Truly will return with more celebration and cerebration next time!