August 28, 2012

Pandora's Idiot Box

A couple of weeks ago we revealed to you that David Glass has given up trying to run a successful baseball team and has instead turned his sights toward the boob tube.  He is outsourcing all players and personnel to the networks for the 2012 fall television schedule. However, Glass was unwilling to pay any writers, developers, or producers for these programs, so he's stolen the basic plots/characters/titles of some well known shows and "re-imagined" them with Royals properties.

Let's take a look at three more surefire winners:

Tuesdays at 9:30/8:30 central on CBS:
Sal in the Family

Billy Butler is a loveable working-class bigot and Sal Perez is his hippie son-in-law affectionately known as "Mitthead" in this update of the classic 70s Norman Lear sitcom. Sal in the Family takes on real-life social issues of today like the energy crisis, unemployment, and conflict in the Middle East.  So basically, it's the same show as the original, but instead of Sammy Davis, Jr. popping up in a guest spot, this version has rapper Common.

Weekdays in Syndication (Check your local listings):
The Dr. Hoz Show

Eric Hosmer has been disappointing in his sophomore season, but he's about to become a breakout star with this daytime talk-show.  Every day, Dr. Hoz will tackle another medical issue. The debut episode will feature Joakim Soria, Felipe Paulino, Danny Duffy, and Blake Wood discussing Tommy John surgery. A few weeks later, viewers will be treated to an intimate view of Ned Yost receiving a colonoscopy in a special live two-hour episode. For your health!

Tuesdays at 10/9 central on MTV:
Fizzyock and Hudler

The inane banter of Steve Physioc and Rex Hudler gets animated this fall!  Enjoy word-for-word cartoon remakes of FSN game broadcasts, with the announcing pair's lines re-recorded by Mike Judge. Each week, viewers will see the demented pair discuss things as varied as exploding toilets, reading lips, Soulja Boy style, and chewing gum with confidence. Also: chicks, fire, and bungholes.

That's it for this batch of shows. We'll be back with more soon.

Go TV! You're the Best!

1 comment:

  1. I never realized how much Rex Hudler looks like Beavis. You're truly doing God's work.


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