September 26, 2012

Royals vs. Cards: The Chronicle of Higher Neducation

Every time my wife sees Ned Yost, she says the same thing:

"He looks like George W. Bush."

I can see it, of course. But I'd say he looks more like the Will Ferrell version of George W. Bush. Or maybe Timothy Bottoms.

Her comment got me to wondering recently, though, about how Ned looked as a player. I was alive during his playing career, but I couldn't really remember ever seeing him play. Thank God for the Internet. After spending about thirty seconds dicking around on Google Image Search, I had my answer: Yost's appearance as a player was clearly defined by three separate eras.

And here they be, through the magic of Royals vs. Cards--

The Thrashozoic Era: 1979-1983

You're probably wondering why I would call this the Thrashozoic Era... 

Well, during this period, Ned greatly resembled young up-and-coming film actor Josh Brolin. You may know Brolin from The Goonies and from more recent films like True Grit and No Country For Old Men. But to me, he'll always be skateboaring wunderkind Cory Webster from 1986's Thrashin', possibly the greatest film ever made about dueling skateboard gangs.

W. Connection:
Interestingly enough, Brolin would go on to portray George W. Bush in Oliver Stone's W, a movie that should have been much better than Thrashin', but sadly was not.

Mustachopotamia: 1984-1986

 For just two short years in the mid-80s, Ned Yost rocked some beautiful upper lip plumage. His thick, glorious stache was like Sam Elliot, Robert Goulet, and Super Mario all rolled into one. Of course, this time in history was the height of the mustache's popularity, buoyed by John Oates and Tom Selleck.  How the hell could Ned resist?

W. Connection:  
Ned sported the stache as a Texas Ranger, the team that George W. Bush would buy just a few years later.

The Nerdolithic Era: 1987-1990

I'm guessing he was playing more D & D than baseball at this point in his career.

 But he wasn't just a nerd during this time. He was occasionally a scary nerd. This last card below, right before he was about to crap out as a minor leaguer and give coaching a try, is the kind of picture you typically see in a news bulletin about a registered sex offender:

W. Connection: 
George W. Bush's term in office directly followed the presidency of registered sex offender William Jefferson Clinton.

And there you have it.

Go Edgar! You're the Yost!

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous12:54 PM

    He looks like Justin Ostrom in the Trash era


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