May 30, 2013

Can't Hit For Shit

The Incredible Two-Headed Hitting Coach Jack Maloof and Andre David have been reassigned back to the minor league positions they've held for the last several years. So instead of screwing up the hitting abilities of the Royals' major leaguers, they can resume screwing up the hitting abilities of their minor leaguers.

In any case, the team actually doing something is always cause for celebration around these parts. If you couldn't tell from yesterday's post, I was dangerously close to putting a gun in my mouth.


Now I'll probably just continue cutting myself instead.

Because, really, this solves nothing. But it's a start.

So here's to you, Jack Maloof and Andre David, the first two heads to roll:

Maloof pretty much asked for this yesterday, but leave it to the Royals to give him one last game to show his coaching skills.

We welcome new interim hitting coaches George Brett and Pedro Grifol.

I don't know who the hell Pedro Grifol is, so I can't comment on him. But I'm happy Brett is coaching, even if temporarily. He seems like the one guy the Royals are okay with making negative comments about the organization. I'm hoping Brett goes off on these idiots tonight. First guy who does a hand signal will likely get some F-bombs lobbed at him.

And luckily for this blog, Brett will never truly be shitcanned, because the man rarely uses the shitter.

Here's the classic Bellagio story, because why the hell not:

Go Double-Tapered Shits! You're the Best!

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