July 30, 2013

Emil Previews More of the Summer 2013 Films

Its been a good long summer for me and there is still a month left of summer! I have eat ice cream and shot fireworks off and caught glowbugs and walk barefoot in the grass! But now this next month name August is here and its usually hotter then hell on earth so a good idea now is to go see a movie. Too bad a lot of the August movies are the worse summer movies but we'll see when I look at this first group of August movies in this blog!

The movies you got to pick from to see for the next two weeks are these movies!

The 2 Guns (August 2)
Marky Mark and Denzel dress up as clowns and rob a bank but it turn out both of them are cops and also morans. Now Bill Pullman wants to kill them for the money they stole. Marky Mark and Denzel each of the good guys got a gun and they in the dessert with these guns arguing and shit talking on each other. Will one of the guns go off and kill somebody? I hope so!

Perry Saturn and the Sea Monster (August 7)
This the second movie of the kid who is good at fighting with swards and knives. He is like Harry Potter but is not a witch but he is a Greek God name Percy! This kid is friends with goat boys and horse men and a cute girl who prolly also got weird animal parts the commerical don't show. These Greek kids got to get to the ocean so they can find the gold fleece to save the world from a water dragon or something.

Ellysium (August 9)
Matt Damon is bald in the future and getting bossed round by some dumb robots. Earf got turn into a shit planet so the rich folk made a new planet call Ellysium up in space. Then Matt Damon becomes part robot and tries to help get all the poor folk on Earf to invade Ellysium to steal the rich folks cancer curing machine. There is a lot of fighting and shooting and it look pretty cool. One thing this movie finally prove is that Matt Damon is not as pretty as Emil with no hair!

The Disney Plains (August 9)
This movie is like the movies Cars and Cars 2 but now instead of Cars they are Plains. One of them is name Dusty (Dame Cook) and he wants to fly and be a racing plain which I ain't never heard of something like that. But he learns how to race and make some friends and falls in love with a pink plain. It looks real cute. I hope next they make Boats bout a boat who learn how to win a boat race.

Meet the Millers (August 9)
Jason Sudakis and Jennifer Amnesty pretend to be marry and have two kids so they can brang a ton of chronic across from Mexico in a Winnebago. But then they got so much weed that Mexican gangs and the goverment chase them and try to kill them for this weed. Also, Jennifer strips her cloths and shows off her bra and panties in this movie and who don't like that? Prolly her dad!

Lee Daniel's The Butler (August 16)
This is the true story of the Butler (Forrest Whitaker) who is a butler who work for all the presidents in history. In the movie the Butler kicks it with JFK, Dr. King, Ronald Regan, and Oprah Winfrey. This movie show how great America is but also how America got to struggle to be great and this will make your heart grow bigger as you watch it! You will learn that even if you got a lazy eye you can do great things like serve food to presidents.

Kick Ass 2 (August 16)
The first Kick Ass is a real violent movie with a teenage kid who becomes a superhero event though he don't have powers and gets his ass kicked alot. He got help from a little girl name Hit Girl who could fight and murder people real good. It's real funny cuz people get there arms cut off and they get blowed up and its crazy. Now this is the next Kick Ass movie and McLoving is the bad guy and there are more wannabe superheros running round even Jim Carry being a GI Joe guy who makes a dog bite a guy's balls off. Ow that has got to hurt!

Jobs (August 16)
The guy who invented Macintosh computers and cellphones Steve Jobs, died from cancer a couple years ago and now they allready got a movie bout him starring Kelso from The 70s Show. First Steve Jobs was a hippie then he maked some computers then they fired him from the company then he come back and made cellphones and wore turtlenecks. Sound pretty boring to me but people love nerds and cellphones so maybe you will like this.

The Paranoia (August 16)
This movie is a thriller bout a guy who got a sick dad and don't want to get fired by his boss so he decides to be a spy for a cell phone company and spies on another cell phone company for the first company. This gets him a lot of money but then the cell phone companies find out and they want to murder him. Also the goverment finds out and now they want him to go to jail for spying even though I just found out Obama been spying on us in real life. This movie gone have a lot of layers like a onion or a gobstomper.

OK that is all the movies for the next two weeks I only got to let you know about the last two weeks of August then summer movies are done for one year! Make the most of the summer and see some movies!

Go Summer Movies! You're the Best!

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