September 20, 2013

I'm Sorry Mr. Jackson, These Are For Real

Last summer, one of our most popular posts focused on a bunch of ridiculous Bo Jackson knockoff baseball cards. Many of them featured unlicensed pictures from Nike ads spliced together with  unlicensed images of Bart Simpson. They were pretty much the most 1990 thing ever.

Well, except for maybe this:

Bo knows silk shirts covered in random letters. Will Smith knows windpants and trying, but failing, to look hard.

While there has been some resurgence in Bo-hysteria the last year with an ESPN 30-for-30 and a Five-Hour Energy commercial that seems to run twenty times a game on, America's desire for all things Bo is nowhere near where it was in the early 90s.

In fact, the oddball cards in the last post were just the tip of the iceberg.

That's right, we have another batch of illegally distributed copyright-infringing cards for your viewing pleasure.

Let's check 'em out!

1990 Bo Knows Baseball, Bo Knows Football (No #):
This is one of the most famous images of Bo. It was used in Nike ads, on magazine covers, and even appeared on a legitimate baseball card in the 1990 Score set.  Here, an unknown company has whited out the background and slapped some gold bars on the top and bottom, which I think we can all agree really classes up this iconic image.

1991 Bart Knows (No #):
So, yeah, this exists for some reason. If you ever wanted to know what Bart Simpson's bellybutton looks like, there it is.

 1990 Bo Knows #4:
Gotta love this mash-up of a giant Wayne Gretzky (minus most of his right leg) apparently committing a tripping penalty against Bo Jackson, backup defenceman for the Montreal Canadiens.

1991 Fun Magazine Giveaway (No #):
 And you think the photoshops I make for this site are bad? Also, I've never seen Wayne Gretzky looking so twee.

1991 Ballstreet Gold #22:
This may be the worst photograph of Bo ever put to cardboard. I guess Ballstreet Gold knows Ballshot Gold.

1990 Classic Update #T26:
"You know what would make a great Bo Jackson baseball card? If the baseball card was a picture of Nolan Ryan holding a Bo Jackson baseball card." SAID NO ONE EVER.

And finally, we have this masterpiece, which I believe requires no snarky commentary...

1991 Lightning Rod (No #):

There you have it.

Go Bo Jackson! Keep Drinking Five-Hour Energy!

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