One of my favorite things I own is a 1990 Bo Jackson Puppet Kooler.
Of all the Royals memorabilia I have, it may be the dumbest.
But I love it.
All the rest of my Royals shit is displayed on shelves in the least occupied room of the house or packed away in boxes in the basement, only to be seen when I'm feeling drunk and sentimental, or when I've decided to randomly take inventory of things I didn't lose in a flood seven years prior.
But the Bo Jackson Puppet Kooler is special.
It's on permanent display in the kitchen on top of the fridge, lording over anyone who dare come in for a snack or a drink.
But you're in luck.
I decided it was finally time to bring him down to the counter, take some snapshots, and share him with you guys.
Just what is the Bo Jackson Puppet Kooler?
Basically, he's a thermos with a face, arms, legs, and a hat.
Have a look:
I'm not quite sure which is my favorite aspect of the Bo Jackson 1990 Puppet Kooler.
There's the open right palm with a ball somehow attached.
The weird two-striped Adidas knockoff sneakers.
And, of course, the hat that says in Arial font, "Bo Jackson."
If you're thinking that's a copyright issue to avoid paying any royalties to MLB, you're wrong. Here's the back of the thermos:
Fully licensed, bitches!
This thing is a...
It's a miracle.
That's what it is.
I'm never going to have a son, but I'll always have this goofy-ass thermos.
And because he's such a part of my family, I thought I'd go beyond just this random one-and-done post.
He deserves better than that.
That's why this is actually the first in a series of posts titled, "WHAT'S IN BO JACKSON?!"
Every so often, I will randomly fill my beloved Bo Jackson Puppet Kooler with some random shit, and share it on the website.
It could be coffee, it could be soup, it could be George Brett's Fine Wine...
You never know!
So please enjoy the first of many ridiculous episodes of "WHAT'S IN BO JACKSON?!"
WIBJ #1: Peanut Shells
There you go.
They can't all be winners, folks.
Go Bo! You make a baller thermos!