May 14, 2014

Double Take

Clearly we should all be writing more articles about how Mike Moustakas needs sent down. After several days of everyone who covers the Royals writing basically the same article about how Moose sucks, he managed to not suck today, or not suck as hard as Colorado starter Jhoulys Chacin, anyway.

Of course, the media still somehow found a way to stick it to Moustakas. Consider, for instance, this glorious mouth-breathing Moose shot from the recap of the game:

I mean... As a Royals fan, I know there are very few photos featuring Moustakas in which he isn't sporting a gaping maw, but couldn't they have gone with a better image for an article about his redemption?  On top of the Gomer Pyle expression on his face, the headline font is straight out of one of those meme generator websites I use so often.

While Moose's bases-clearing double in the second inning proved to be the difference in the game, the real MVP (and guy who should have grabbed the terribly designed headline graphic) was Royals starter Jason Vargas. So far he's been so much better than we expected (or could have even hoped, I think), but instead we're focusing on the guy whose batting average still sits at .161. 

Here's how the headline would have looked in a more perfect world:

Anywho, the most important thing is that the Royals won this round of The Second-Most Important I-70 Rivalry in Baseball History. 

I mean, think of all the great players who have worn both the blue and the purple over the years: Miguel Olivo, Jorge De La Rosa, Paul Phillips, Jeremy Guthrie, Mark Redman, Scott Elarton, Jamey Carroll, Glendon Rusch, Denny Bautista, Nate Field, Kip Wells, Jeff Francis, Kit Pellow, Scott Dohmann, Stan Belinda, Jonathan Sanchez, Gregg Zaun, Chris Stynes, Adam Bernero, Ross Gload, Neifi Perez, Terry Shumpert, Curt Leskanic, Tom Goodwin, Brent Mayne, Sal Fasano, Jamey Wright... the list goes on and on. 

With that many studs shared between these two teams, you know these games are always circled on the calendar. And the Royals got the better of the Rockies this time. You know those purple-wearing sons of bitches will be out for blood in three-to-five years when they meet up again.

Anywho, a great sweep deserves a great sweep graphic, so here goes:

Suck it, Purple Mountain Majesties. You just got your asses swept.

Go Royals! You're the Best!

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