Hey gang! The Royals had a great weekend, salvaging the last two games of their series with the Orioles in baller fashion-- Danny Duffy flirted with a perfect game on Saturday, and Alex Gordon finally broke out on Sunday, hitting two homers and knocking in six runs.
Speaking of "baller fashion," Royales with Cheese is proud to introduce a new series:
What the hell is Ad Nausea? It's a look at advertisements that in some way feature our beloved Kansas City Royals and the shameless pedaling of shitty merchandise.
For example, I could post a Red Man ad like the one below:
Of course, that's not a real ad, so I would never really post it. But it's a good example.
So for our first entry, we'll be looking at some vintage Jones Store ads. A little history: J. Logan Jones founded the first Jones Store in Stafford, Kansas, in 1887. He had great success at first and he quickly expanded his department stores into Kansas City. However, by 1910 he was bankrupt and had to sell the company. That means for the remaining 96 years of its existence, the Jones Store Co. was run by people not named Jones. In 2006, the last few Jones Stores either went out of business or were converted into Macy's.
During most of the Royals' history, the Jones Store was an official sponsor and ads could be found on scoresheets, gameday magazines, team yearbooks, and the like.
Let's check some of those ads out, shall we? Here's a gaggle of Jones Store ads from 1983-1986.
Click to enlarge if you want to explore (and you should):
I like to think of these ads not as the result of a lamely choreographed photo session with local "models" posing, but rather as candid shots of local gang members who happen to get all their gang-related merch from The Jones Store Co.
As everyone knows, the 80s were a hotbed of gang activity across the country, with many crews adopting Kansas City Royals hats, shirts, and jackets, wearing them to signify "Kill Crips." In these shots, we see them breaking into the stadium, posing in the locker rooms, hanging out in those awesome orange seats, and lastly, meeting with their gang leader Buddy Biancalana, ready to carry out whatever orders he's writing on those headshots of Greg Pryor.
Also, did you see that sweet painter's cap in the 1984 ad? Pretty rad.
Go Jones Store! Moms Everywhere Miss You!