May 4, 2014

The May Movies

Happy Summer! It was a long winter with so much snow and icing and polar vortex. But now the big old sun coming back and saying look out, I am heating you up! 

And when the sun get hot, the movies get hot also. 

We allready seen the Muppets and Captain America and God's Not Dead, but what else is coming out this summer? 

Only the best movies ever made and I got the summer movie guy for you.

Here are the movies you got to know about for the next few weeks of May!

I fell like I seen too much Spiderman movies. I been getting bored watching a teenage boy whine a lot bout his dead Uncle Ben and fighting Henry Osborne in his spandex. This new movie they still doing that, but they added Jamie Fox who gets bit by electronic eels and turned into Electron who will zap Spiderman with his lightening bolts, so that sounds a little better but I don't know.

This a cartoon movie sequel to the Wizard of OZ. On the commerical they got a cartoon lion, cartoon scarcrow, and cartoon tin man, but I ain't seen any cartoon munchkin or cartoon twisters. In this movie Dorothy and Tonto come back to Oz to kick some clown's ass.

The Mom's Night Out (May 9) 
This look like the worse movie ever made. Some laddies hate allways raising there kids so they want to go out and get there drank on together but everything go wrong when there husband sold the kids to a biker. But this movie is bout mom's and it comes out on Mom's day so if you forgot a gift for your mom then take her to this movie and she ain't never ask you for a gift again I bet.

The Neighbors (May 9)
Seth Rogan and his wife and baby move next door to the frat house. They like it at first cuz frats are baller but then they need to get sleep and the frat is too loud for them. Then one day the baby eat a condom. So the family fight the frat house of frat brothers. The movie is all these prank wars back and forth and it looks like it has a lot of dirty poop and sex things in it so its real funny but not for the kids.

Godzilla (May 16)
The Japanese dinosaur is back from the ocean so he can destroy powerlines and smash building and murder the city. This like the 40th Godzilla movie but they are all real good. I hope Mothra and that dinosaur with three long necks and the giant turtle show up and they all fight cuz that was hilarious.

Million Dollar Army (May 16)  
This a Disney movie with John Ham going to Indian to meet some kids who play cricket and make them a baseball pitcher. But look out cuz when you brang the Indians to America they never seen elevators before and they help you fall in love with your neighbor. This look real cute.

Blender (May 23)
Adam Sandler and Drew Berrymore did a new movie where they are single parents that don't like each other but then they take there kids to Africa for a safari together and they fell in love.  Also there's a funny part where Sandler ride a ostrich and Berrymoore almost got gored by a rhino.

The X-Men's Days of Future Pass (May 23)
Wolverine got to go travelling thru time to stop the mutants from getting kill by giant robots. Time travel movie confuse me a lot but I like mutants so I give this a shot. The most important thing is that the naked blue chick is back but this time its the Hunger Game girl and not John Stamos ex-wife but yes she is naked and blue still.

That's all the movies for now.So far these movies look okay not great but good. Will they get better or worst as the summer go on? You have to come back to read what is coming out or you won't ever know.

Go Summer Movies! Your the Best!

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