May 26, 2014

Toon Raider

Greetings! It's time once again for Royals vs. Cards. Last summer, we had a lot of fun mocking some cartoons from the backs of Topps baseball cards. We took on cards featuring Royals from 1973 here and here, 1974 here and here, and 1969 here.

The best year for Topps cartoons, however, may be 1970. Get this, they used two colors this time!

Let's check 'em out!

Lou Piniella:
Lou can count to five (if he uses his fingers).

Carl Taylor:
 "Colleting" coins? What the hell does that mean?

Oh... Collating! I get it.

Freddie Patek:
 Freddie was known as "The Flea" because he liked to drink dogs' blood. Also, he once laid over 5,000 eggs on Buck Martinez.

Gail Hopkins:
Gail minored in gardening.

Paul Schaal:
 Paul had a serious head injury, and Topps, for some reason, thought this would make for a hilarious cartoon.

Ellie Rodriguez:
Ellie stopped boxing when the referees would no longer let him wear his catcher's gear in the ring.

Bruce Dal Canton:
Bruce doesn't coach a team, just the basketball itself. "Good job, Basketball. That's some nice bouncing."

Wally Bunker:
Luckily for the rest of the guys in the clubhouse, there are no strings on Wally's guitar.

Bobby Floyd:
In fact, Bobby is responsible for the Royals' Manchurian Shortstop Rich Severson, who lost his roster spot when he tried to assassinate Manager Bob Lemon.

And just for fun, even though he was never a Royal, let's look at Ryan's dad, Jim Lefebvre, and his 1970 Topps cartoon:
Right in the gonads. You can't beat fun at the ol' ballpark.

Go Ryan! Your dad took a baseball to the dick several years before you were born!

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