June 26, 2014

Summer Movie Blockbusters of the Summer

Hey movie fans how are you doing today? I am doing pretty good. I been grilling and chilling and watching summer movies!

I seen How to Train the Dragon and 23 Jump Street and one was real cute and the other one real funny. But it ain't even July yet and there are a million more movies to come out this summer! I will talk about a bunch of them today like usual.

For fun first let's do a game!

Here is a real funny fake picture for a movie coming out can you guess which one this is:

Did you get that right? Well the answer was The New Transfarmers movie coming out this week and this was a picture from that.

Here are more summer movies for this summer!

Think Like a Man To (June 20)
Steve Harvey took time off from the Family Feud to write a book name Think Like a Man to help all the fine laddies deal with dumb guys so they don't keep getting one night standed but instead set a wedding date to trick the dumb guys to get marriage. Then they made the book into a movie that was real funny and now they made a second movie that also is real funny. In this movie all the couples already got marriage so now they all going to Las Vegas for some other wedding. The plot is who can have a wild and craziest bachelor party the men or the women? You got to watch the film to find out who won the battle of the sexist!

The Jersey Boys (June 20)
That old man Clint Eastwood direct this movie bout a band from 100 years ago that nobody care about anymore cuz most errbody who like them died from old age! They call Frankie Valley and the Four Seasons and they sung real bad music with a high voice like "Big Girls Don't Cry" which you heard on a tampon commerical probably.

Transfarmers: The Age of Instincts (June 27)
This is the forth one of these movies but Shia LaBeef got fired for being a loser and they got Mark Whalberg now as the human man who is a farmer who buys a shitty old truck but it turned out it was a transfarmer! Then a bunch more transfarmers show up and they fight eachother and destroy more cities. It sound a lot like the first three but this one got Dinosaur Transfarmers in it so that's baller!

Tammy (July 2)
In this movie Melissa McCartney from Bridemaids and Identity Theft and The Heat is a big woman who fell over a lot and sangs and yells and also cusses at the people. She lost her job so she going on a road trip cross America with her grandma to see America but instead they run into problems like falling off a Sea Doo in the lake or getting kick in the face by a deer and chase by a bee. I fell like I seen this before and it was call Tommy Boy and it was the greatest movie ever made so this might be good also.

Deliveries from Evil (July 2)
Eric Banana from the worst Hulk movie is a cop who going up against a bunch of people possess by the devil! They know they possess cuz they kept scratching the ground and the wall and the floors. The devil got pissed that the cop investigates so they try to kill his daughter by turning into a stuff animal that roll around saying "Baba Booey Baba Booey." This look real scary so you should see this if you want to scream or pee my pants!

The Earth Echo (July 2)
A bunch of kids who are friends are sad cuz there neighborhood getting destroy so they all got to move away from eachother. Then there smartphones stop working so they go on a adventure with cameras to film themself having the adventure. They find a robot owl name Echo who is the alien from space and then they get chase by the bad guys and I think this movie is just E.T. but film like Cloverfeld or Blair Wench so dumb kids who ain't never seen those movies will like it but not you if you got brains.

Dawn of the Rise of the Planet of the Apes (July 11)
A bunch of monkeys got infected by a virus and now they can talk and ride horses and shoot guns and their fighting some humans who survive the virus to see who gets to have San Francisco and who gets kill. Apes vs. Humans! Who ya got?

Boy Hood (July 11)
Richard Linkletter direct this movie for 12 years so he could show a kid and his dad and mom all get old without special effects which sound like the opposite of what summer movies supposed to be. Watching a little boy grow up to be a big boy sound more like a book then a movie anyway! That's too much real life for me when I want to escape in the movies not read books or watch myself get old. I think the box office gone prove we all rather see monkeys take over the earth or robot cars fight eachother then a film bout real life. So hopefully we never have to see this kind of a movie again!

That's it for the movies for a few weeks. There are some real good ones and some ones you know will not be good but have fun watching them and I know I will.

Go Movies! Your the Best!

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