October 30, 2014

Cheese Epilogue


The Royals made the playoffs this year.

The Royals won an insane Wild-Card game.

The Royals won eight straight playoff games to get to the World Series.

The Royals took the San Francisco Giants to the seventh game of the World Series.

Then, the Royals lost.

It was a disappointing ending to a completely unexpected and wonderful post-season.

But I'm a man of my word.

Back in early September I promised I'd stop ragging on the current team if they made the playoffs. I know their success has nothing to do with me, but I also know they didn't deserve all the shit I flung at them over the last four or six or eight years of this stupid blog.


So this blog is going on hiatus, sort of.

I won't go away completely, but I'm going to try very hard to not talk about the current Royals on here anymore, and certainly not in a derisive way (though there's always twitter). I still have Royals recipes and goofy baseball cards and novelty records to share on this blog, but posts will be very infrequent from here on out, I imagine.

Thanks to everyone who has ever taken the time to read anything on this page. It means a lot to me that a few people have enjoyed some of the words I've written or the pictures I've made.

Thanks especially to those of you who have taken the time to contribute content to the blog, even though you were never compensated for it and never will be. I'd love it if you want to keep posting here, but I understand if you want to take this as an opportunity to move on to other things.

What else?

I guess I'd be remiss if I didn't give the fake Emil Brown a chance to say goodbye.

He's been one of our longest running and least successful jokes on this blog, so it's only fair to give him one final moment to ruin any good will we've built up.

What do you have for us this time, old friend?


Oh boy.

Goodbye, Emil. Thanks for making me laugh that one time. You'll always be one of my favorite Royals.

See the rest of you guys sometime in 2015.

Let's not wait another 29 years to do this again.

Go Royals! You're the Best!

October 28, 2014

WELCOME GREAT PUMPKIN

The Royals are in the World Series!

They're currently trailing three games to two, but I'm feeling surprisingly zen about the whole thing.

I mean, they're in the World Series!

If they don't pull it out, I'm okay with it. 

Really.

I'm honestly still feeling a weird mix of confusion and elation that they've made it so far when they hadn't done anything in the previous twenty-eight seasons.

I was fully prepared to go the rest of my life without seeing the Royals ever play in a World Series.

Really.

I didn't even expect them to win the wild card game, so everything this post-season has been gravy.

Even if they lose the World Series, I'll be happy. It's an incredible accomplishment for a team that had Chris Getz and Jeff Francoeur on it as recently as last season.

And look at me! Posting dumb shit to Royales with Cheese on October 28th! 

Confusing! 

Elating!

Anyway, I'm hoping this isn't a one-year-only deal and that the Royals have several more Octobers to come.

But just in case this is it, I better get a Royals Recipe uploaded that only really works for this time of year.

You know what I'm talking about. It's October, the month when pumpkin flavoring makes its way into anything edible, from coffee to cookies to crêpes to Country Crock.


Now that the Royals are relevant during the Halloween season, it only makes sense that we join the pumpkin party. And luckily, Muriel Kauffman was way ahead of us in her 1980 submission to the Royals Recipe book.

Here are Mrs. K's Frozen Pumpkin Squares:


According to Mrs. K, this recipe solves the problem of what to serve when you have a big crowd at your house. So if you're taking in Game 6 (and hopefully Game 7?) at su casa this week and all your rowdy pumpkin-loving friends are coming over, she's got just the thing.

Here are your ingredients:


Of course, we have the requisite sugar substitute, as well as frozen yogurt rather than ice cream, because my wife and I are giant vaginas.

Here are some disgusting pictures of the process:

















At this point, I'd like to point out that Muriel's belief that 36 ginger snaps would be enough for two layers is a little misguided. Maybe ginger snaps have greatly reduced in size over the last 34 years? Maybe these hard discs aren't the sort of ginger snaps she even wants us to use? She probably wanted us to bake real ones and use those.

In any case, one layer alone of the store-bought type ended up being 40 ginger snaps:







Next, we have an unnecessary look at the top/inside of our freezer. Probably just as you imagined it, with a Bo Jackson Puppet Kooler and handle of Tito's Vodka resting on top and inside a bunch of ice cream trays nestled in a broken ice-maker.


And cut to five hours later...









Overall, these were delicious. Pumpkinny, cold, and creamy. The pecans, unfortunately, overwhelm the flavor at times (and provide a bit too much roughage to the texture), but Muriel's Frozen Pumpkin Squares were pretty damn good. 

Next time we make this, we'll probably cut the nuts in half or entirely and have an amazing dessert.

RATINGS:

Me: 4.5 out of 5

The Wife: 1.5 out of 5 Hudlers (the fewer Hudlers, the better, of course)

Thanks for the delicious fall treat, Mrs. K. Do you have any final words before the game tonight?


Couldn't have said it better myself.

Go Royals! You're the Best!

October 15, 2014

American League Champions


The Kansas City Royals are going to the World Series.


Obligatory Sweep Graphic #1:



Obligatory Sweep Graphic #2:



Obligatory Sweep Graphic #3:


And I think we all remember what the Royals did to the Giants this year

Though I wouldn't mind making a sweep graphic for the Cardinals, either.

Go Royals! 12-0! You're the Best!

October 5, 2014

RWC Post #360

I didn't realize how dead inside the last twenty-nine years had made me.

Scratch that.

I was pretty aware.

It was a carbuncle on my soul.

But I'm over it.

How could I not be?

The Royals are good.

And life as a Royals fan is good.

Let's celebrate with the guy who we all wish was still around to see this.



Go Royals! 12-0! You're the Best!
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